written 04 March 2025
I don't mean to brag, but in my life,
I've made some excellent decisions,
not the least of which is my gender transition.
Because I am what the media does not want you to see:
not a misguided cis woman,
not a modern medical monstrosity,
just a happy little guy who loves his trans body.
In fact, the very things they say I'm meant to hate
are actually the things that make me great.
Allow me to enumerate:
Number one:
As tumblr told me when I was young,
the "F" on my birth certificate does not stand for "female"
but is rather an F in the chat to pay respects,
because I am fantastic, and I demand respect.
Number two:
Despite what they may tell you,
my extra X chromosome does not dictate my gender;
rather, nature was trying to mark me XXX,
because I'm too damn sexy for all these cishets!
Number three:
Due to my mastectomy
I might have scars below my pecs,
but it doesn't mean my body's wrecked;
it means I knew what I wanted,
and I had the guts to pursue it.
Number four:
Unlike in days of yore,
yes, my testosterone does come from a bottle,
because if my body is a temple,
then Lord knows I love to remodel.
Number five:
For honesty I strive,
so I will readily admit
that I don't have a dick,
and that fact doesn't bother me one bit.
In fact, it is my superpower,
because, unlike with a cis gay,
I don't need lube to play,
and that just makes financial sense.
And number six:
I am fabulous.
Do I look like a man?
No, and I never will,
and I don't want to.
I want to look androgynous,
so gender-confusing that anyone would be remiss
to try to discern my pronouns without asking.
I want to look so genderqueer
that normies look upon me with fear
in their eyes when it comes time
to refer to me in the third-person.
I want to look exactly how I look right now—
because despite the media disavowing me,
I love every inch of my trans body.